I’m an immigrant living in a Scandinavian country, and I prefer not to share more details than necessary.
My ex and I had been together for almost a year. Initially, I planned to stay here for a year and a half, but I grew fond of the country and received an appealing job offer. On top of that, I was deeply in love with him, so I began considering staying permanently. When I mentioned this possibility, he broke up with me soon after. He said he wasn’t sure about the relationship and didn’t want me to stay for him only to regret it later. He told me I was wonderful and that he felt lucky, but he wasn’t certain. I didn’t understand, and I felt lost.
While packing my belongings from his place, I noticed a notification on his phone from a friend saying, “At least you have her out of the way.” I shouldn’t have looked further, but I did.
The conversation revealed he never took me seriously. He told his friend he would never commit to someone from a different culture outside Europe. He assumed I’d leave after a year, and he described me as easy to impress. He even admitted he felt pity because I seemed so in love, but for him, being with me was never an option. He said he felt relieved it was over.
I didn’t confront him. I left his keys on the table and walked away. Back at my shared apartment, I felt ashamed and foolish. I had always thought he was out of my league, and now I wonder if I was right. I don’t know if he’s prejudiced, but his words cut deeply.
Part of me wants to hear him acknowledge what he did. I crave an explanation, though I’m unsure if it’s wise. Right now, I feel broken and confused.
TL;DR: My ex dated me for nearly a year but never intended to take me seriously because I’m an immigrant. When I considered staying, he ended things, and I later discovered through his texts that he saw our relationship as temporary.
