This feels like pure insanity. We have three children—ages 3, 4, and 17. My days are consumed with caring for them, especially my youngest who stays home with me while the older two are in school.
My husband works from 7 to 4, Monday through Friday. Some days he finishes at 4 but doesn’t arrive home until 5 or 6 for various reasons. Meanwhile, I also work evenings from 7 p.m. to midnight, Sunday through Thursday. That leaves me with about five hours of sleep each night, and I’m constantly exhausted.
We haven’t shared intimacy or any form of closeness in about two months. Our schedules rarely align, and by the end of the week I’m drained. My husband, however, insists that if I don’t meet his needs, it’s reasonable for him to seek fulfillment elsewhere. He believes that because he pays for everything, he is “owed” this act as proof of my love.
I find this ridiculous. He doesn’t truly help with the children. He’s physically present but disengaged. When the kids want to play or interact, he excuses himself after five or ten minutes, saying it’s too loud or that he needs to think about bills.
I feel like nothing more than a doll for his pleasure—used when convenient, ignored otherwise. I’ve expressed these feelings to him, but he laughs them off, calling them “silly.” He shows no interest in me until the children are asleep, when suddenly it becomes “his time.”
This dynamic has left me feeling alone, disrespected, and unloved. After nearly 20 years of marriage, I finally reached out to a divorce attorney.
I don’t know if I should just accept this situation and endure it, but deep down I know I deserve better.
