I wasn’t sure what category to place this under, but I went with “Positive.” “WTF” didn’t seem like the right option.
Earlier this week, I shared a couple of posts. One was about how my father has been such a difficult man and how his behavior has shaped my life in painful ways. The next day, I wrote about being uninvited to Christmas dinner. That wasn’t connected to the first post—he simply decided I didn’t deserve to be there this year. The blame was placed squarely on me, as usual.
My mother has been visiting, and she knew how upset I was about all of this. My father dislikes her visiting me, so she has to save money for months just to make the trip.
This morning, as she was leaving for the airport, she paused before getting into the taxi. She turned to me, looked me directly in the eye, and said words I’ll never forget: “Saoirse. Your father is a snob and a coward. Don’t ever think you have to earn his love, because it should be the other way around.”
Then she hugged me tightly and left.
I stood there, stunned. I didn’t know what to feel. Was this the release of a lifetime of expectations? Was it temporary? Permanent?
For her to summon the courage to say those words—it must have taken so much strength. She lives in an extremely controlling relationship with my father. What he says goes. That’s one of the reasons she loves visiting me: she can breathe, laugh, and act like a carefree young woman again, instead of a caged housewife under the watchful eye of a retired husband.
Her words lifted something heavy off me.
All I can say is this: it felt absolutely fantastic to hear.
