Wait… it gets worse. He didn’t get me anything for Mother’s Day or my birthday this year either.
Money has been tight for us due to several factors, but I’ve still made sure he had something when it was a special day for him.
On Mother’s Day, he said, “I just didn’t know what to do.” So that morning, I told him what I wanted and ended up going to get it myself.
For my birthday, he gave me a letter saying he didn’t have anything to give me except his love, and he apologized for not having money. Yet, just a week before my birthday, he drove four hours to pick up a $100 item from an auction site for one of his hobbies.
Now our 10-year wedding anniversary is coming up this Friday. I ordered him customized gifts. Two items arrived over a week ago, and one more should have come last week but got lost in transit. I even had to call the postal service to investigate. He walked in as I was finishing the call, asked what it was about, and I told him part of his anniversary gift might not arrive on time. His response was, “Oh, I forgot anniversaries mean gifts. I just don’t know what to do for those things.”
We’ve been together for 17 years, married for 10. He used to be so romantic, thoughtful, and creative with his gifts. He made me feel loved, important, and cherished. Back then, it was clear he put time, effort, and thought into what he gave me. Now… I get nothing.
I feel hurt, forgotten, and unimportant. We’ve been through so much in the last decade, and we’re still together. That’s worth celebrating and recognizing. We even have plans to go out to eat, and I’ve been talking about it for over a month, so it’s not like he forgot. He just didn’t put in any effort.
I want to explain how this makes me feel without sounding like I’m whining. This is serious—it hurts. I don’t think it’s an overreaction to be upset about it. But at the same time, I feel a little silly for being hurt that I didn’t get gifts.
TL;DR: My husband didn’t get me anything for Mother’s Day, my birthday, or our upcoming anniversary. I’m hurt by his lack of effort. How do I talk to him about this without sounding like I’m being childish?
