I am a 30-year-old woman, and I went through a divorce in 2023. It was sudden, painful, and left me shaken. My ex-husband, who is 35, and I had been struggling for some time. We argued about his refusal to work and his disapproval of my social life, especially when I spent time with friends.
I admit I had reached my breaking point. One night, I finally told him how I felt, not in the kindest way. He exploded, yelling at me in front of our children, calling me cruel names, and chasing me. I locked myself in my car while he pounded on the windows, demanding I “get out and talk like an adult.” I called my father, hoping he would protect me, but instead he told me to talk to my ex. I asked my ex to leave and stay at his mother’s for a few days so we could cool down.
Two days later, he returned with a trailer. He emptied our home of everything that belonged to him and the children, then took the kids away. For nearly two weeks, I was not allowed to see them. I had to go to court for emergency custody and rely on a sheriff to bring them back. During that time, he spread lies, claiming I had been unfaithful, which was never true. He even told our children that I had kicked them out and didn’t want them anymore. Worst of all, he insulted my six-year-old son for wanting to stay with me.
Eventually, we reached a 50/50 custody agreement. Yet, he continues to belittle me, bully me, and poison the children’s minds with falsehoods. He has a high-priced lawyer, likely funded by his mother, while I cannot afford one. In court, I feel like a punching bag, constantly under attack.
What hurts even more is my family’s behavior. My parents and sister have stayed in contact with him. They attend school events with him, text him behind my back, and act as though nothing happened. My mother even told me, “He will always be her son in Christ.” That statement made me sick to my stomach. It feels like betrayal to see them embrace someone who caused me so much pain.
Because of this, I have distanced myself. I haven’t seen my family in months and only exchanged a few texts. I miss them deeply, but they refuse to acknowledge the harm they’ve done or understand my side. My children ask to see them, but I cannot bring myself to allow it. I feel unsafe and unable to trust them.
So here I am, wondering: am I wrong for cutting off contact with my family? Or am I right to protect myself from further harm? I don’t know the answer, but I do know I need support. After everything I’ve endured, I simply want encouragement and understanding.
