I am 26, married to my 42‑year‑old husband for nearly seven years. At this point, I feel suffocated. I don’t find him attractive anymore, and I don’t particularly like him as a person. We married after only a few months of dating. Coming from a strict religious family, I thought marrying him was the right thing to do, and I believed I could change him into a great husband.
He has always been controlling and dominating, but I was conditioned to follow without question. When I had my first miscarriage, he refused to come to the hospital and pressured me to return to work immediately. He told me to drop out of school to help pay bills, and I did.
Around year two, we had a baby. He was distant and treated me poorly. He already had three children from previous relationships, and I began to realize this marriage wasn’t good. At 21 or 22, I finally started speaking up for myself. He would change briefly, then revert back.
He dictated who I spoke to, what I wore, and where I went. When I became pregnant again in 2023, I told him if he treated me the same way, I would leave. He made some effort, but not enough. I returned to school and refused to drop out.
Now, at 26, I realize I don’t like the person he has shaped me into. I love him, but I don’t like him. I dislike the way he parents, and I want out. There are things he has done that I can never forgive.
I told him I regret marrying him without truly knowing him, and that I don’t like him as a person. I apologized for my expectations but made it clear I was done. I thought this would spark a conversation about separating, but it was as if I never said anything.
Do I have to explicitly say I want a divorce? Am I overreacting?
I just want to live a life without him constantly disapproving and hovering over me.
