I’m married to a man in his thirties, and over time I’ve come to feel that his family doesn’t like me, or at least doesn’t want me around. That realization has been a major factor in my recent thoughts about divorce, and I’d appreciate hearing from others who’ve faced something similar.
There have been moments that cut deep. Once my mother‑in‑law asked my husband whether we use protection and he shared details of our intimate life while I wasn’t present. When I told him I felt violated, he dismissed it as normal family talk and said I’m too closed off with relatives.
She’s made passive‑aggressive remarks, like suggesting foreigners “take things,” adding that I supposedly “stole” her son. He laughed when he relayed it to me. She’s mocked my love of books, calling it an “obsession” behind my back, even though he knows it’s a sensitive topic for me.
Before our wedding she told me, bluntly, that she’d always love him more than I ever could. Nobody at the table objected, including my husband. That kind of emotional one‑upmanship has been a recurring pattern.
She frequently leans on my husband for emotional support without seeking help herself, calling to unload even when he’s grieving his father. His extended family also treats boundaries casually: they use his car without asking and laugh off damage, yet he corrects me sharply for small mistakes.
Whenever I cook for the family, more people mysteriously appear and then refuse to eat what I’ve made. He calls them “picky,” but that response feels dismissive. I also notice a cultural pattern: many men in his family aren’t married, and I’m often excluded from the women’s tight circle.
Their attitude has shifted toward xenophobic comments lately; as an immigrant, that stings. My husband insists there’s no harm intended, calling me overly sensitive and prioritizing his family’s comfort over my sense of belonging.
I’m starting to feel invisible in the family I married into. I love my husband, but I’m questioning whether this dynamic is sustainable. With the holidays approaching, I’m seriously considering telling him I want a separation if things don’t change.
