I’ve been with my partner for eight and a half years, and we’ve shared an apartment for five. Like any long relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs, but the last two years have been especially good. I know, deeply, that he is my person and I am his.
He’s a kind, generous man—toward me, our friends, family, and strangers. He shows affection, communicates clearly, supported me financially while I completed my degree, and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company on ordinary days and during trips.
We already live a married life in most practical ways, though we don’t have children. Still, living this way doesn’t satisfy my dream of marriage. I want a celebration of our love, to share that moment with friends and family, to be a bride and to plan that life milestone with him.
A few years ago he had doubts about our future, but we worked through things and are in a much stronger place now. When I bring up marriage he listens and seems open; he entertains the idea—but I haven’t seen a ring.
I’ve given two boundaries: I won’t put money toward a larger home with him unless we’re married, and I won’t celebrate a tenth anniversary as just partners. Even those lines feel stretched thin now.
Honestly, I don’t think I have the courage to leave an otherwise perfect relationship, so I keep postponing any decisive action. Each anniversary and every surprised reaction from others sharpens my resentment, and attending friends’ weddings only deepens the ache.
I feel stuck while people around us move forward. I want clarity: either he proposes, or he admits he won’t, so I can release this uncertainty and stop building bitterness inside myself.
I haven’t had a recent direct conversation about marriage; my last explicit answer from him years ago was no. I’ve been touching the topic casually to sense his stance, and he acknowledges that we’re in a better place now.
Reading others’ perspectives made me realize I need a direct, honest talk. We have a big trip next month, so I’ll likely wait until after that to bring it up properly. I want to approach it with calm clarity and ask for the answer I need.
Thank you to everyone who shared input; it helped me map a next step—one clear, adult conversation to either move us forward or free me from this limbo.
